April Birthday, Happy Fool
by Tabitha12
Summary: Carolyn and family celebrate April Fool’s day and surprise Captain Gregg on his birthday – at the same time! A Round Robin Event! Authors: Tabitha 12 RevSue Melchy Helena Russell.
1. Default Chapter

**_Title: _April Birthday, Happy Fool!**

_**Authors: Tabitha 12 - RevSue - Melchy - Helena Russell**_

_**Rating: PG**_

_**Summary: Carolyn and family celebrate April Fool's day and surprise Captain Gregg on his birthday – at the same time! A Round Robin Event!**_

_**Disclaimer: The characters from 'The Ghost and Mrs. Muir' belong to 20th Century Fox and David Gerber productions. No infringement is intended, no profit made, and they will be returned unharmed from whence they came. This story is for enjoyment only.**_

_**All other characters, plots, story lines and development of GAMM characters belong to the authors and may not be used or changed without express written permission.**_

_**Special thanks to the literary talents of Charles Edward Carryl and Harry Graham and to Sherwood Schwartz.**_


	2. ABHF01

**1-TABITHA12**

Candy and Jonathan started to walk up Bay Road to their home, Gull Cottage. Mrs. Coburn and Linda had dropped them off at the bottom of the hill that afternoon as per Carolyn's instructions that morning. Linda had another orthodontist's appointment that afternoon and couldn't be late for it. The weather was balmy for March, and the children took their time making their way up the hill.

"Hey, Candy . . ." said Jonathan, "Watch-ya gonna do for the Captain's birthday this year?"

Candy stopped on the road and turned to him, her eyes wide open. "Birthday! When's that? I thought you'd be more worried about your dumb April Fool's Day jokes! Remember. You promised no more jokes like last year! Besides, didn't we do the Captain's birthday?" Candy continued walking up the road.

Jonathan shook his head. "No . . . Remember? Claymore gave us the wrong day! We celebrated the day the Captain DIED . . . not the day he was born! Mom told me so!"

Candy grimaced at the thought. "Oh yeah . . . Well, when is it?"

"Mom said she looked up the right day in the city records after Claymore blew it. It's April eighth, eighteen- twenty-five." Jonathan paused and concentrated. ". . . At least I think that was the year. But I'm sure it's April eighth."

"Gee. That's not very far away!" Candy turned and glanced at her brother again. "It's March twenty-seventh now! That only gives us . . . thirteen . . . yeah . . . a little less than two weeks to get ready for it!"

"Yeah . . . I wonder why the Captain didn't say anything about it? I start talking about what I want for my birthday at least a month ahead of time!"

"I don't think grownups like birthdays . . ." said Candy, thoughtfully. ". . . I mean I think they like that people remember their birthday, but I don't think they like to talk about them. Maybe they're worried about getting old or something. You know, Martha calls hers a 'State Secret'." She reminded her brother.

"Well . . ." said Jonathan, kicking a stone in his path, ". . . The Captain can't get older exactly . . . Do you think maybe he forgot what day his birthday is? He couldn't remember when we asked him about it in November . . . That's how we ended up getting the wrong date from Claymore and surprising him on the wrong day . . ."

"I don't think so," said Candy, shifting her school books to her other arm, "I was thinking about it after the party was over last year. Do you think maybe he told us he couldn't remember the day on purpose, so we couldn't make a fuss? Mom says he remembers everything . . . that's how he can tell such great stories."

"Well, that would be dumb!" Jonathan retorted. "If we remember yours and mine and Mom's and Scruffy's we have to remember his too!"

"Well, don't get mad at me!" Candy replied hotly, "I think you're right! But either way we have the same problem we did in November. How can we surprise him with a birthday party when we never know when he's around to hear what we are saying?"

"Well, I was thinking," Jonathan said, in a conspiring tone. "He doesn't know, we know when his birthday is, right?"

"Right . . ."

"And Martha knows about the Captain now, and Mom, and Claymore . . ."

"Yeah . . ."

"So, that makes everything easier! Don't you get it? Maybe we can do what we're doing right now . . . Plan it all when we aren't at Gull Cottage!"

Candy's face suddenly lit up as Jonathan' idea began to take shape. "Oh! I get it! We can run errands and take walks and play on the beach and plan the party and then go into town with Mom to get stuff and hide everything we get for the party in the car! Captain Gregg never messes around in Mom's car!"

"Yeah!" answered Jonathan "Except the cake . . . we can't hide that there! But, Captain Gregg might still be on the lookout for something going on . . . He looks out for everything anyway. Maybe we could disrect him or something . . ."

"Disrect? Don't you mean distract?" Candy corrected him, with what Jonathan privately called her 'mother' tone.

Jonathan rolled his eyes. "Yeah, that . . . make him think we're doing something else . . ."

"Like what?"

"Well . . . His birthday is real near April Fools' Day . . . Maybe if he thinks we're trying to 'get' him with April Fool's Day jokes, then he'll forget about his birthday!"

"I don't know, Jonathan . . ." Candy said doubtfully. "It's four days to April Fool's Day, and then another eight days after that to his birthday . . ."

"Yeah, but if he thinks we're trying to play jokes on him, maybe he'll start thinking about jokes to play back and forget about his birthday . . . Hey! Wait! I know!" Jonathan said, tossing his schoolbooks to the ground.

"What?" said Candy, exasperated, but trying to be patient.

"We could play a really big April Fool's Day joke! We can do his birthday party on April Fools Day! He'll never guess that!"

"I dunno, Jonathan . . . I'd want my birthday remembered on my birthday . . . having it that early wouldn't be any fun!" said Candy. "I don't think that's a very good idea."

"No . . . you still don't get it! We'll do both! We fool him on April Fools day with a little party. Then surprise him on his birthday with a big party! That'll really get him!"

"Hey! Yeah!" said Candy, "That's a great idea!"

"Let' go tell Mom and Martha!" said Jonathan, grabbing his books from the ground.

"Yeah! Let's go!"

Candy and Jonathan raced the rest of the way up the hill and burst through the front door. To their surprise, Carolyn and Martha were at the door, waiting for them.

"Avast, you two!" said Carolyn, greeting them with a hug. "I'm glad you're home, and on time, for a change! You do remember we have shopping to do in Schooner Bay this afternoon?"

"And no arguments," added Martha, joining the three with her purse and a shopping list. "I already have your after school snack in the car, so put your books down and we'll get moving."

"Okay!" chorused Candy and Jonathan; they put their schoolbooks down quickly and made a beeline to the car with no arguments.

"Hmm . . ." said Martha, staring after them.

"Hmm, what?" asked Carolyn looking at her friend.

"Hmm. That's all," said Martha. "The kids hate shopping, even when it's for them! I wonder what they're up to?"

"Couldn't say!" replied Carolyn with a laugh, "I'm just happy to have 'willing prisoners' for a change! Now, lets get going before they change their mind about being cooperative!"


	3. ABHF02

**2-REVSUE**

"Let me get this straight. You want two parties for Captain Gregg?" Martha was incredulous. "Both of them surprise parties?"

"Yeah . . . It's sure to work, Martha!" Jonathan bounced up and down on the back seat in his excitement. "He'll never guess they're for his birthday. You'll make a cake, won't you?"

"Two cakes?" Candy interjected.

Martha sighed. "More work, I see. Any particular kind you have in mind for an April Fool?"

Carolyn smiled when the car was filled with suggestions. Then she said quietly to Martha, "Remember when we had this discussion in November? You said you'd make an Angel Food cake, since that was appropriate for a ghost."

Martha grinned. "And you asked for a Devil's Food! I thought you just preferred chocolate! But now that I know the Captain . . . In a manner of speaking . . . " She shivered suddenly. "I still find it creepy that he's real."

"Ghosts aren't real, Martha." Candy spoke up, having been listening. "You know that!"

"Except for Captain Gregg. He's real!" Jonathan defended his absent hero.

"A real ghost." Candy said, scornfully, "But not a real person!"

"He is, too! Mom, tell her!" Jonathan insisted.

"Kids, we've had this discussion before." Carolyn said.

"Yeah, when you cut down his tree. Boy, was he mad at you, Mom!" Jonathan reminded her.

"I forgot about that," Candy was thoughtful. "You said he wasn't real, but that the thoughts and dreams of the man he was live on . . . Or something like that."

"They sure do." Martha muttered. "Sometimes I just want to hit him over the head, when he's being stubborn!"

"Mom gets mad and yells at him all the time." Candy said.

"And it hurts his feelings." Jonathan added.

Carolyn winced slightly. How did the conversation get from having a party to this?

"Except when he thunders back at her." Candy giggled. "So, can we have a couple of parties? Huh?"

"We'll think about it a bit more and let you know before we go home. How's that?"

Jonathan and Candy subsided into the back seat and started murmuring together – Making plans.

Martha looked at Carolyn with her eyebrows raised.

"You sort of want to do this, don't you?" she asked.

"Well," Carolyn defended herself, "The children want to do it, and really, Martha, the Captain hasn't celebrated a birthday in years!"

"Generations."

"That, too. I just think it would be . . . fun," she finished lamely.

"As long as I don't end up the April Fool." Martha grumbled. Then she brightened, and lowered her voice. "And I've just thought of the perfect cake to make for a ghost!"

"I thought the Devil's Food appropriate."

"This is even more so! A "Better Than Sex" cake!"

Carolyn sputtered with laughter. "You've got to be kidding, Martha! There isn't such a thing!"

"Oh, indeed there is!" Martha was grimly satisfied. "A Devil's Food cake to start with, to fit the old devil himself, then, when it comes out of the oven, poke holes in it and pour caramel sundae topping and sweetened condensed milk into all the holes, then when it's cool, cover it with whipped cream and chocolate chips or scrunched up pieces of chocolate bar or something. Yup, the perfect cake for him! Better than Sex! Maybe it'll remind him that although he's now on the spiritual plane and supposedly above all the desires of the flesh, he can still enjoy good, sweet chocolate!"

Shaking her head at Martha's audacity, Carolyn parked in front of the clothing store. "All right, mates, bail out and hit the decks here to start!"


	4. ABHF03

**3-HELENA RUSSELL**

At the same time the family was in town, at Gull Cottage, Captain Gregg was busy thinking. He was trying to come up with a marvelous trick he could play on Claymore on April first, when suddenly his thoughts went to Mrs. Muir and her children. He had watched them drive away in Mrs. Muir's car, Martha with them. He knew they were on a shopping trip. He had noticed that Candy and Jonathan something planned. But what could it be?

Daniel had no idea that these plans had something to do with him. He didn't think about his birthday at this moment, but he would get to that later. His thoughts went back to April Fool's Day.

And now he knew what joke he could play on Claymore. _Oh yes, that will be fun, _he thought.

His thoughts went again to Carolyn. He wanted to play an April Fool's joke on her, too. Daniel had a marvelous idea. _I'll sent her another very wild dream about being with me on board my ship. Poor lady, her dream will end in a disaster. Then, the next morning, when she wakes up, she . . . _He was fiendishly happy over his idea. _And now back to Claymore. I'll send him to sea that morning and teach him a terrible lesson. _Captain Gregg's fiendish laughter rolled through the house at that thought.


	5. ABHF04

**4-MELCHY**

Carolyn glanced over the nautical catalogue she had picked up in town and looked in amazement at all the things you could purchase for the "sea lover in all of us." She knew she probably shouldn't be looking at it in the house, so as not to ruin the surprise, but she just couldn't resist. Who would have ever known how many things could be bought in the shape of a telescope or compass?

Preparations for the 'fake' party where going well. Martha was making a yellow cake, with chocolate icing and Jonathan and Candy had a couple of gag gifts for the Captain. She hadn't still picked out anything for the April's Fools' Day, she was too busy daydreaming over what she wanted to get him for his real birthday. The thought of Martha's Better Then Sex cake made her smile and she couldn't help but wonder what the Captain's thoughts on that would be.

"What are you blushing about?" Captain Gregg appeared at his telescope, his gaze taking in her lithe frame covered demurely in a gown of creamy satin. She did realize just how beautiful she was?

"I wasn't blushing," she defended herself, feeling her face grow warmer by the minute. " I was just looking at this, um . . . magazine."

He nodded and turned to look out at the view below. He had a feeling something was up, but he wasn't sure what. What he did know was that tomorrow was April Fool's Day and he had a plan or two of his own. But right now he was going to pop down to the kitchen and see what Martha was up to. Seems he had heard cake pans rattling earlier.


	6. ABHF05

**5-HELENA RUSSELL**

**April 1, 1971**

Carolyn woke up rather early on this day because she felt something hard at her back. It actually felt as if she had slept the whole night on something very hard. When she opened her eyes, she noticed that she lay on the floor. But how had she landed there? And then Carolyn remembered that terribly wild dream. She had been on board Captain Gregg's ship; the sea was wild and worst of all, pirates all around her.

They had stared at her with wild desire. Just as they had been about to ravish her, Captain Gregg was there and had rescued her. Then both had been washed overboard by a colossal wave. And then she remembered nothing more.

Now she lay on the floor. She wanted to go back to bed again, because she didn't feel very well after that dream. As Mrs. Muir tried to get up from the floor, she noticed that her hands were full of tar. But how had it come on her hands? And then it came to her like lightning bolt_. Captain Gregg, that underhanded man of a ghost! _She cried in her thoughts because she couldn't bring the words out of her mouth. Somehow her voice had failed.

Carolyn managed to get to her feet again. She ran like a fury from the bedroom in the direction of the bathroom. She wanted to wash up that tar as soon as possible. In her excitement, she didn't notice that a magical hand opened the bedroom door and the bathroom door was opened in the same way.

Somehow Mrs. Muir got off that tar from her hands. She swore terrible revenge on the Captain. Then suddenly her voice was back when she heard a deafening laughter, which she knew very well.

"Okay, Captain, you had your joke and you can count on it that I will find a way to get back at you!"

At this, she only heard a terrible "Blast" and then nothing more.

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At the same time as Mrs. Muir was feverishly thinking up revenge and how she could pay back the Captain Claymore had also awakened. But this condition wouldn't last long. Daniel had, in the meantime, arrived at Claymore's home to carry out his second joke. When Claymore tried to get up, he fell back on the bed and fell asleep again. His body began twitching as he realized that he was on a terrible ship someplace on the high seas. He become very seasick as the waves got bigger and bigger and the ship start to rock even harder. Claymore got greener in the face. He couldn't control himself any longer, leaned across the rail and started to heave.

Suddenly Claymore was awake and found himself in front of his mirror. He had no idea how he had come there. He couldn't remember anything! When he looked in the mirror, he saw that he was green in the face. But how could that be? The only explanation for it was that he had somehow had to have recently been on a ship.

The thought didn't come him right away that it was April 1st and Captain Gregg had gotten him in this mess as an April Fool's joke.

Daniel was fiendishly pleased about Claymore's silly, green face. Then his thoughts went back to Carolyn. What kind of ambush had she thought up in the meantime? He had to reckon with everything when he got back.


	7. ABHF06

**6-TABITHA12**

Inwardly Carolyn raged, outwardly she uttered every swearword she had ever learned from the Captain, her father, her grandfather, from every man she had ever dated . . . and from her Sorority sisters at college. Indeed she was not conducting herself in a 'ladylike' manner!

As she dressed however, she calmed down . . . remembering the day it was and the itching powder incident and bath in the cold ocean that the Captain and Jonathan had suffered last year. Now her joke had to be two-fold. She needed to play a joke that was worthy of a response and would not make the Captain suspect that they had the 'fake' birthday party planned for that night, but was not so devious that he would never speak to her again. Maybe two smaller jokes?

Sensing immediately that the Captain was no longer at Gull Cottage, Carolyn finished dressing and went out to the Captain's telescope on the balcony.

"Aha! Just as I suspected!" Quickly Carolyn unscrewed the two end pieces of the telescope. She coated the eyepiece end of the telescope with dark red lipstick from her makeup bag. Just enough to put a ring around the Captain's eye (she hoped) the next time he looked into it. Then, inside the magnifying end of the telescope, she stuffed as many white cotton balls as she could. Then she reassembled the telescope, and giving it a satisfying spin, she headed downstairs to the kitchen.

gammgammgammgammgamm

"Martha . . . ?" Carolyn said, hesitantly, "Everything okay down here?"

"Good morning, Mrs. Muir!" said Martha, washing the last of the dishes in the sink. "Everything's fine. No pennies in the doors this year! The kids just left for school, what's up?"

"I need your help in the attic, that's what! Come on!"

Carolyn stopped briefly in the kitchen for the bottle of molasses Martha kept in the cupboard and then at the linen closet in the upstairs hall and grabbed all the toilet paper she could find.

Once inside the attic she turned to her friend and grinned.

"Want to help me decorate?"

"Mrs. Muir! You wouldn't!"

"Oh yes I would, and I am! Wait until I tell you what he did to me last night!"

Carolyn and Martha, remembering every high school and college prank they had ever pulled, proceeded to festoon every square inch of the 'wheelhouse' possible with toilet paper. Not an area was overlooked — Including the exposed beams and rafters.

Martha went downstairs, and grabbed the discarded newspapers from the week before and shredded them — Then she shoved them in every drawer and every square inch of cubbyhole in the Captain's desk as possible, without moving his actual private papers.

"We better hurry! He'll be back any minute!" said Martha, laughing, and enjoying the joke as much as anyone. What are you going to do with the molasses?

"Watch!" said Carolyn, with a glint in her eye. Carefully, making sure it didn't spread too quickly, she poured a small pool of molasses squarely in the middle of the Captain's desk chair, and then pushed the chair back under the desk.

On that happy note, the two conspirators went back downstairs and ate their breakfast . . . and awaited the Captain's return.

They didn't have long to wait. Captain Gregg materialized s-s-l-o-o-w-w-l-y in the kitchen.


	8. ABHF07

**7-REVSUE**

Carolyn eyed the Captain somewhat apprehensively. She said nothing. Neither did he. He merely folded his arms and fixed her with what he called his "cold, hard stare." Martha cleared her throat and began to rise from the table, but both Carolyn and the Captain stared her into sitting back down again. Carolyn's look was faintly pleading; The Captain's very dominating.

Finally Carolyn found her voice. "Good morning, Captain . . ." she began.

"Madam, I trust you had a restful night and a good beginning to your day," he spoke blandly.

Gritting her teeth at the memory of her nightmare, Carolyn forced a smile onto her face. "Of course," She lied. "I trust you had the same?"

Martha snorted. "A ghost? Having a restful night? Spare me!"

"Am I to find that amusing?" The Captain said haughtily. Then he changed the subject. "I expect you both know what day it is?"

Nodding, Carolyn replied smoothly, "Of course. As Mark Twain wrote, The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.' Don't you agree?"

The Captain's face relaxed into a smile. "I had forgotten that. Thank-you, Madam."

"April Fool's Day has been going on a long time, hasn't it?" Martha commented.

"Since the 1500's, I believe." The Captain agreed. "I had heard rumors that it sprang out of a change of the New Year festival in France. Traditionally, the New Year had been associated with the renewal and excitement of spring, and the revitalization of energy. But King Charles the IX, I believe it was, adopted the Gregorian calendar, and decreed that the New Year would begin instead on January 1. There were supposedly many people who either preferred the springtime celebration to its replacement or were ignorant of the calendar change, continued to observe the traditional, seasonal New Year. These reactionaries were made the fools of juvenile pranks played by their more obliging compatriots; hence the name April Fools' Day."

"Fancy that," Carolyn said, never having heard this story before. "Captain, I think you should tell the children about this."

"If you insist, Madam."

"Juvenile pranks, eh?" Martha murmured. She shot a look at Carolyn who pretended not to see it.


	9. ABHF08

**8-MELCHY**

Juvenile pranks, indeed! Well, it was nice to know that the Captain was still a kid at heart. She just wished she could have found it out in a much nicer way. The very nerve of him!

At least she thought, a smile of smug satisfaction on her lips, she had bested his prank. Just wait until he got a taste of her medicine.

"You look like the cat who swallowed the canary," Martha remarked, laying the dishcloth over the freshly washed dishes. "Don't tell me you would stoop to childish pranks!"

"Oh surely not." The Captain reappeared, his eye still bearing the remains of his lipstick-booby-trapped telescope. "Not a dignified, sedate, upper crust Philadelphia author." And he threw Carolyn a bitter look.

The dignified, sedate, upper crust Philadelphia author assumed an innocent look, trying her best not to laugh. Crossing her arms in front of her, she shook her head.

"Not any more than a stuffy, overbearing, hard-nosed sea captain." And she gave him a once-over look.

"This is too much for me." Martha shook her head in bewilderment. "I will never figure those two out," she said, more to herself than to them. "Let me know when it's safe to come back into the kitchen."

"What the blazes is she talking about?" Captain Gregg inquired, a look of confusion on his face.

"Don't ask me." Carolyn shrugged. "I have things to do, so I'll say goodbye now."

"I just bet you do," he growled, leaving the room in a flash.

"Show off!" she yelled into the air. This was getting to be more interesting by the minute!


	10. ABHF09

**9-HELENA RUSSELL**

Carolyn didn't have to wait for long. Suddenly, she heard a terrible banging coming from the attic. It was clear to her what had made that noise — The Captain must have got caught in the toilet paper that she had distributed over the whole attic.

Then she heard the terrible curse of Captain Gregg . . . She was sure she had never heard them before from him. But she would get over that later. Then she waited for the next cry of the Captain. She knew it would come rather quickly.

Carolyn could imagine the Captain face, when he noticed what else she had done. At that thought she grinned.

Daniel managed to get free of the toilet paper. His thoughts went further. 'What mess will I get into next?' He peeked around to see if anything was amiss. He got to his desk and pushed away the chair from the table. He didn't notice that molasses was distributed on the chair.

Next he tried desperately to pull out one drawer after the other at his desk. At first he didn't succeed . . . now he was furious. 'What the devil is going on here?' He thought, and then he noticed that something was put in every hole of the desk. In his rage, he rattled frantically at one of the drawers . . . and look there . . . it could be opened! Then he lost his hold and he landed on his chair and the molasses began splash all over him.


	11. ABHF10

**10-TABITHA12**

Carolyn sighed. For the most part, April first had been a very unproductive day. She was tired because of the Captain's induced nightmare the night before, followed by the morning 'activities' with Martha. She had given up all hope of getting anything written over an hour-and-a-half ago, and contented herself by getting her files in order . . . something she usually put off doing as long as possible.

Around noon, she heard terrible noises coming from the attic. She expected a downpour, and thunder and lightening from the Captain, but nothing came — not even a mild breeze; nor did Captain Gregg materialize into their . . . HER cabin, and start yelling.

By two o'clock the filing had been completed to Carolyn's satisfaction, and she had even more time to think. What had started as a present and a celebration for Captain Gregg had turned into a mild practical joke war . . . and she hated practical jokes! April Fool's Day in particular! How on earth could everything be set right for everyone concerned? After all, they still had the first of two parties tonight! Martha popped hear head in the door of Carolyn' room.

"Mrs. Muir . . . Were you planning on picking the kids up this afternoon?" Then she added in a whisper. "And getting the last of the party stuff?" Carolyn looked up from her desk.

"Yes, Martha. As a matter of fact, it might take just a little longer to get back here though . . . I have to . . . pick up a few extra things in town, too."

"Fine." Martha responded with a wink. "I have a few things to finish up here, so you won't be delaying me a bit."

gammgammgammgammgamm

Carolyn picked up Candy and Jonathan from school at two-thirty, sending up a silent prayer of thanks that she had no other children to take home that afternoon. On her way to the 'downtown' area of Schooner Bay, where all the shops and stores were, she sheepishly told her children about what had happened that morning — an abbreviated version of her nightmare, and about the booby-trapping of Captain Gregg's telescope, and the TP-ing of his attic, and not hearing from the Captain . . . so far.

"Gee, Mom!" said Candy. "I think the TP-ing was a cool idea. I didn't even think you knew about that, but molasses? On his chair?"

"Yeah, Mom," chimed in Jonathan, "You know how he feels about the stuff in his wheelhouse . . . and his telescope! Gee. You yell at Candy and me for fighting . . ."

"Yes, I know — " Carolyn replied, "But you didn't wake up on the floor with tar all over your hands! Well, Here's some money . . . I want you two to go into the general store and get three rolls of wrapping paper, tape and ribbon. Meet me down at Deke's Antique Shop when you're finished. In all the excitement I forgot . . . you two have 'gifts' for the Captain, but I still haven't found anything absolutely perfect, and not too expensive for tonight. Considering this morning, I want to find something a little nicer than I was originally planning . . . I need to go by the used clothing store first, though."

"Sure Mom! Hey, this is cool! We can pick out stuff and pay for it ourselves!"

Carolyn watched her brood charge through the doors of the general store, and made her way first to the Goodwill store, then to Deke's Antique Shop.

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Twenty minutes later, Carolyn came out of Deke's, with a happy smile on her face and added a large bulky package to a smaller package already under her arm.

"Hey, Mom! What did you get?" said Jonathan, eyeing the larger package. "It's not another practical joke, is it?"

"No Jonathan. Actually, it's more of a piece offering . . . and the Captain's first birthday present! You'll see what it is tonight . . . when he does. I sure hope he shows up!"

"Well . . ." said Candy, "What's in the little package? Can you tell us that?"

Carolyn blushed beet red. "It's . . . a new pair of pants. I could tell by the noises in the attic he found the molasses earlier today, and it occurred to me this afternoon. I don't think he has another pair!"

The children looked at each other and giggled.

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By the time the Muir's returned home, Martha had everything ready. Scruffy had 'stood guard' the whole afternoon . . . no sign of Captain Gregg.

The children and Carolyn quickly wrapped their presents for the Captain. After an hour of waiting, there was still no response from the Captain, even after Candy, Jonathan and Scruffy had searched the house from top to bottom. As a last resort, Carolyn took the Captain's new pants up to the wheelhouse, which had been divested of all shredded newspaper and toilet paper and laid them across his now-clean desk chair. She went back downstairs and put a record of Irish melodies on the phonograph and they all waited . . . with their fingers crossed.

Suddenly, Captain Gregg materialized in front of the mantle . . . wearing his new pants . . . and a snifter of brandy in his hand.


	12. ABHF11

**11-REVSUE**

"Happy Birthday, Captain Gregg!" they all chorused. Jonathan and Candy blew enthusiastically on their party whistles and waved streamers.

He looked puzzled. "Yet another April Fool's joke? This is not my birthday!"

Candy giggled. "Well, you wouldn't tell us when it was, so we thought we'd pick today to celebrate!"

"No fool like an old fool," Martha mused. The Captain glared at her.

"Hey, Captain, you're wearing new pants!" Jonathan piped up. "What happened to your other ones?"

"A highly regrettable accident, lad." The Captain sighed. "These, well, they're not the same. They have a confounded newfangled zipper that . . . " He stopped abruptly, and a frown crossed his face. "Never mind," he finished, shortly. "But I thank-you, Madam, for the gift . . . even though I have a very good idea as to the perpetrator of the accident."

"Well, I'd hate you not to be able to sit down at your party tonight because you had dirtied your pants, Captain." Carolyn couldn't suppress her smile.

Martha snorted with laughter, then smothered it, and stood up. "On that note, let's get this party rolling! Candy, why don't you and Jonathan fetch your gifts? Then we have some time to play Pin the Tail on the Donkey . . . "

"Jonathan and I thought we should change it to Pin the Sail on the Ship," Candy said.

"Yeah, since it's for Captain Gregg."

"Very appropriate," Carolyn nodded, solemnly, her eyes dancing.

Looking at her narrowly, the Captain had a good idea what her thoughts were, but thankfully she kept them to herself. The five of them played the homemade game for a while, then Martha brought in the birthday cake, and the Captain opened the gifts the children had bought, laughing heartily at the tiny, windup chattering teeth that Jonathan set to walking across the floor.

"That's so that you can remember how Claymore acts every time he sees you!" Candy giggled.

"I do not believe I need a reminder of that piece of pestilence!" the Captain muttered, but the corners of his mouth turned up as he acknowledged that the children were right – the teeth did remind him of that cowardly bit of shark bait!

He arched his eyebrows when he opened the second gift. "An inflatable cushion?" he queried.

"A very special cushion, Captain!" Jonathan said. "Here, let Mom blow it up, then you can try it."

Carolyn obliged, and then handed it back to the Captain, a warning look in her eyes.

Warily he turned it over. It seemed harmless enough.

"Sit on it, Captain!" Candy urged.

Rising, he placed it on his chair, and then sat back down, only to leap to his feet in embarrassment.

"Madam, I do beg your pardon!"

The other four dissolved into giggles. "It's a whoopie cushion, Captain! It makes the noise, not you!" Candy explained as best she could when she could talk again.

"Hmm. Might I have another piece of cake, Martha?" The Captain asked. "I must admit – you did a fine job of it." He avoided the chair with the cushion and seated himself beside Carolyn and Martha on the sofa.

"Thank-you, Captain!" Martha sounded pleased. "It's just a standard yellow cake. Nothing special! Not like . . . well, not like other cakes I've made. Sometime I'll let you try a really good one. When a suitable occasion arises."

Carolyn nudged her before she could say anything more, and asked for another piece of cake as well. It would be a miracle if they could keep the second birthday party a surprise!


	13. ABHF12

**12-TABITHA12**

"So were you really surprised, Captain Gregg?" Jonathan asked as they finished Martha's cake.

"Very much so!" The Captain replied with a smile that almost split his face, "And I love your gifts!"

Candy, Jonathan and Martha looked at Carolyn expectantly.

"Well, Mom? said Candy ". . . Come on . . . it's your turn!"

"Yeah, Mom!" Jonathan said, "Where's your present for the Captain?" To Captain Gregg he added; "We don't even know what it is . . . Mom wouldn't tell us! Come on Mom . . . Hurry up!"

Carolyn went out into the hall and returned with a large oddly wrapped package. "I found it at Deke's today Captain," she hesitated. "If you don't like it, he said we could make an exchange . . ."

Even as she was speaking, Captain Gregg was ripping the paper away. There was a collective gasp from the Captain, Martha and the children.

Captain Gregg unveiled a model of a ship . . . unlike anything else in his collection. A three-masted sailing ship made entirely of cut wood — even the sails. It was fully rigged, and at the top of each mast was a 'crow's nest.' And three small wood pennants 'waived' in the breeze from each mast.

Captain Gregg kept looking at the ship . . . moving it around, eyeing it from every angle. Finally, on the hull of the ship, he noticed that one word had been painted on it.

"Pax . . ." he said softly.

"Pax, Captain . . ." said Carolyn, just as softly. "Peace . . . Please. I don't want to play any more April Fool jokes ever . . . Won't you please agree with me on that?"

"Aye, my dear . . ." I think we've both been silly enough for the whole year today. "This is beautiful. I can't imagine where Deke picked it up. Are you sure you didn't . . . spend too much?"

"It's rude to ask . . ." Carolyn said quietly, ". . . But I promise you, I didn't. Just take it and enjoy it. It's yours. Happy birthday, Captain!" Carolyn turned away and began to pick up the discarded birthday wrapping, but if someone was to look closely, and he did, they could see tears standing in her eyes.

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An hour later, Carolyn announced bedtime for the children, but they begged for one game of 'Ghost' with Captain Gregg. Being in a peaceful frame of mind after her tiring, yet productive day, Carolyn agreed. While the Captain and the children played the game, Carolyn and Martha attacked the dinner dishes, and quietly started discussing plans for Captain Gregg's 'real' birthday eight days away. After Carolyn and Captain Gregg tucked Candy and Jonathan in bed, the Captain vanished.

When she did not find him in 'their' room, and feeling too keyed up to sleep, Carolyn told Martha she was going for a walk, grabbed her jacket and headed out the front door to the beach.

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"May I join you, Madam?' The Captain said as he materialized beside her, "Or did you wish to be alone? He asked, hesitantly.

"Of course . . . join me, Captain!" said Carolyn. "It's really your beach after all!" she laughed. "Tell me, did you really have a good birthday celebration after everything we did to each other today?"

"I don't think I've ever had a nicer one . . ." he said in a low tone. "You know, not having much of a family and being at sea three-hundred days a year doesn't really make for celebrating too many birthdays."

"I'm glad we could make a happy one for you." Carolyn said as she bent to pick up a stranded starfish and threw it back into the sea. "You know, I did mean what I said . . ." she paused and stopped and looked at him. "We were the ones acting like children! Candy and Jonathan didn't play one April Fool joke on anyone today . . . except for having the idea to surprise you early for your birthday, of course!" She smiled again, and continued walking, thinking about the surprises she and the children and Martha already had started planning for April eighth. "You know . . ." she continued. "I really don't like practical jokes. They can get too cruel, too quickly. Harriet and Hazel are crazy about them!"

"That figures!" said Captain Gregg with a snort. "Practical jokes sound like the type of thing those cousins of yours would enjoy! But, tell me. I know you like a good romance novel every now and then, or watching an old movie with Martha, and a good game of chess, or Acey Deucy, But what did you like to do for fun before you were married? Before Candy and Jonathan?" He hesitated again, "Before you married Robert?"

Carolyn stopped again and looked up at him calmly. "Promise you won't tell? It would be a very bad thing to expose Candy and Jonathan to . . ."

Daniel Gregg looked alarmed. What could this intelligent beautiful, woman have buried in her past? He had to know!

"I promise!" he declared solemnly.

"I used to collect morbid poetry," she said, with a blush.

"I beg your pardon?"

"Morbid poetry," she said flatly. "Little Willie' poems especially. It was a kind of a fad when I was in college . . . That was in the fifties — very popular at Temple College, where I attended. The fad didn't last long, but my friends and I collected everything we could find, memorized it, and wrote some . . . I can't remember any of what I wrote, but I can remember some of the classics — want to hear some?"

He looked at her in dismay, trying to imagine the classically beautiful woman before him spouting anything unseemly.

"All right . . . maybe an example of one."

Carolyn stopped and cleared her throat. "Okay, here goes:"

_**Willie with a thirst for gore**_

_**Nailed his sister to the door.**_

_**Mother said with humor quaint,**_

_**"Willie dear, don't scratch the paint.**_

The Captain stared at her in mute shock.

"Or how about this one?" she continued.

_**Little Willie full of hell,**_

_**Pushed his sister in the well,**_

_**Said his mother while drawing water,**_

_**It's so hard to raise a daughter.**_

The Captain stared at her without saying a word, but out of the corner of her eye, she could see one corner of his handsome mouth start to twitch.

"I saved my favorite for last," she said with a grin, "Just for April Fool's Day, Captain!"

_**Little Willie, on the track,**_

_**Didn't hear the engine squeal.**_

_**Now the engine's coming back,**_

_**Scraping Willie off the wheel.**_

Daniel Gregg burst out in laughter.

"What a very strange way you have of celebrating the holidays, my dear!" he chortled, "Morbid, indeed! I can assure you. Your secret is safe with me! I suggest we turn around and go back now . . . you did say you had a writing assignment to finish tomorrow?"

"I do, Captain! You bring out the worst — and the best in me! You do know that, don't you?"

"I do, do I?" The Captain twinkled back at her. "You are right, my dear. I'm sure you have a great deal to get done tomorrow. Thank-you for your company . . . and this most educational discussion! By the way, Madam — – I have found all your April Fool booby traps for this year, have I not?"

"Oh yes, Captain! You're safe! Am I?"

"Only from April Fool jokes, my dear!"

On that happy note, they turned around and started walking back toward Gull Cottage.


	14. ABHF13

**13–MELCHY**

Carolyn awoke the next morning with a hearty appetite and a big grin on her face. Yesterday for all of its practical jokes had been a lovely day, especially the ending, she couldn't help but think.

Her little bedside clock announced silently that it was seven-thirty, and she turned off the alarm before it could start to ring. She hated nothing more than the buzz of an alarm clock telling her it was time to get up when she already was up.

Coming downstairs about twenty minutes later, she walked into the kitchen, greeting everyone with a cheery hello. Candy and Jonathan returned her greeting with sunny smiles of their own, happy because spring break had finally arrived and there was no school or homework for a week.

Martha offered her employer a stack of pancakes, which Carolyn took gratefully. Martha gave her a strange look as she handed her the plate with the steaming hot cakes, wondering why the small woman had suddenly obtained an appetite.

"Where's the Captain?" Carolyn asked adding sugar into her cup.

"He said something about getting things done," Martha informed her, sitting down with her own cup of coffee. "He didn't say, and I sure wasn't going to ask him."

"Mom?" Candy looked up from her plate. "Jonathan and I were thinking of a cool gift to give to the Captain for his real birthday. Well, not really give, but it is something for him."

"What is it?" her mother asked, curiously.

"It's a song we learned in music class last week." Jonathan finished. "It's called _'A Capital Ship,' _and it's really neat."

"You sing it to the tune of_ 'Gilligan__'s Island'."_ Candy giggled.

_"Gilligan's Island?"_ Carolyn wrinkled her nose. "That crazy show!"

"You like it, Mom." Candy teased. "I heard you tell Martha once that you thought the Professor was cute."

"That's beside the point." Carolyn rubbed the side of her neck, hoping she wasn't blushing. "Do you have the song?"

"We can get it if we can go into town today," her daughter told her. "Mrs. Manchester said she'd be at the school and she'd give us a copy. And Martha, will you help us practice?"

"I'd be glad to, if we can keep the old goat out of the house long enough!"

"We will manage." Carolyn assured everyone, pouring more syrup on her pancakes. "We'll find a way."

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After breakfast, Carolyn took the children into town and they got a copy of the song. They let Carolyn read over the words and she giggled at the nonsensical lyrics. "He will like it!" she told them.

"I thought we'd drive over to Keystone today and see if we could find something spectacular for his present," she said. "I think we out-shopped Schooner Bay yesterday!"

"That ship you gave him was keen." Jonathan nodded. "You'll be hard put to get something better than that."

"I think you're right. But we'll try. I know I should have given that as the big gift, but . . . "

"That's okay, Mom. You don't have to explain." Candy assured her so sincerely — Carolyn wondered what her daughter might be referring to.

They walked around the shops, finding some wonderful nautical antiques, but still Carolyn couldn't find anything she thought was right.

"We will be getting some new stuff in . . ." The clerk told her. "Try again in a couple of days. Maybe you'll find something then."

"Thank-you. I think I will."

Before going back to Schooner Bay, they went to a small hamburger place and pigged out on cheeseburgers, fries and milk shakes. "Just don't tell Martha!" Carolyn warned them. "She'll have a fit!"

Returning home, Candy and Jonathan ran into the house with their song, while Carolyn took her time getting out of the station wagon.

"Hello, my dear." The Captain greeted her, coming to stand by the open car door. "Where were you off to today?"

"Just running some errands." She gave him a smile. "What about yourself?"

"The same," he nodded. "I thought I'd go and work on my sea charts now."

Thinking of the song, Carolyn shook her head. "I've got a better idea," she smiled enticingly. "Let's go for a walk."

"Another one?"

"There is no such thing as too many walks, Captain."


	15. ABHF14

**14-TABITHA12**

When she returned to the house that afternoon, Carolyn announced firmly that she had writing to do and was not to be disturbed for any reason. Armed only with her plug in coffee pot and a large pitcher of ice water, she went to work on the three half-finished articles she had to have done for her Monday deadline.

Captain Gregg, Jonathan Candy and Scruffy headed for the beach for an afternoon of sun and fishing. Martha passed on the fishing as she still had housework and laundry to finish, and a birthday project of her own to work on for the Captain (Not that she said anything about that to him!)

The afternoon passed quickly. Carolyn finished her two smaller articles that were due. Around three o'clock she had begun working on the third . . . a re-telling of one of the Captain's sea adventures in Tahiti when she looked down in dismay . . . Her typewriter ribbon had played out. She had been typing on an empty sheet of paper for the last ten minutes!

"Blast, Blast! And double Blast!" she exclaimed, running down the stairs to the telephone.

"What's up?" Martha inquired, coming out of her bedroom "Are you out of coffee? I can make more . . . "

"No . . . Blast! Blast! My typewriter ribbon just died . . . And I don't have another one!"

"Well . . . is that a big deal? Just call the office supply store in town and . . ."

"They better have one," muttered Carolyn. "Hello? . . . Peggy? This is Carolyn Muir. I'm fine Peggy. Listen, do you have my typewriter ribbon in stock? You don't? Bla . . . I mean, darn! Where do you get your supplies from? Keystone? What's the name of the store? Bishop's Office Supply? Great. Thanks, Peg. I appreciate it." Carolyn hung up.

"Good news?" Martha inquired "You know, you really need to start buying more than one ribbon at a time Mrs. Muir . . ."

"I know, I know, I know . . ." replied Carolyn and she dialed another number. " Bishop's Office Supply? Could you please tell me. Do you have a typewriter ribbon for a Royal Typewriter model RA500? You do? Three of them? Terrific. My name is Carolyn Muir. Please hold them for me. I will be there to get them in an hour. Thank-you!" She looked at Martha. "Well, there's two hours wasted! I have to go back to Keystone this afternoon!" She dashed upstairs to get dressed.

Little did she know they would be one of the best two hours she ever spent!

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Carolyn dressed in her red pantsuit, hurriedly applied a little makeup, ran a comb through her hair and headed for the car. "If the kids get back with Captain Gregg, I'll be back by dinnertime Martha!" Carolyn put her trusty station wagon in gear and headed for Keystone.

As Carolyn headed into the office supply store, she realized that it was located right up the street from the nautical antique store she had visited that morning. After securing the typewriter ribbons and a few other needed office supplies, Carolyn decided to go by the antique store again, just to see if she had missed anything or any new articles had come in. The clerk was the same man that had been there that morning when she was in the store with Candy and Jonathan. He smiled as she came in the door.

"I'm glad to see you back again! No children this time? What did you do with them? Sell them to the gypsies?" he grinned. "I hoped you would come back! A few new articles have come in . . . Thought you might want to take a look . . . my wife, she owns this shop . . . is in the back marking them, now." He smiled. "Sure glad you came back! What sort of thing are you looking for?"

"I don't know, exactly! Something that would fit the most irritating, irascible, infuriating, dashing daring, magnificent sea-captain of a man I have ever known . . . but of course, something I can afford!" Carolyn replied with a smile.

"Tall order!" The man replied. "By the way, I'm Andrew, My wife . . . she's Virginia . . . Ginny for short. Hey, Ginny! Customer out here!" He looked back at Carolyn. "She gets involved back there. Here are our new items . . ."

That was when Carolyn saw it. She knew this was it — what she wanted — what she had to get for Captain Gregg. A chart rack! It looked exactly like the one she had given away so thoughtlessly to the salvage people three years before! It couldn't be the same one . . . , could it? She looked at the rack closely, and found a small gold plaque mounted on the side.

_**Given to Captain Daniel Elias Gregg**_

_**for Outstanding Military Service**_

_**By Admiral James Nelson**_

**_In this Year of Our Lord __'__1850__'_**

Carolyn choked. _This is it!_ She thought. _I didn__'t think I would ever see this again, or ever have a chance to really make up for . . ._ She turned to Andrew, trying desperately to keep her voice steady. "This chart rack . . . how much do you want for it?"

"Let me see . . . "Andrew replied. "It's marked at two-hundred. We've actually had it around for a while; Just moved it from another section of the store — not too many calls for chart racks these days, except maybe as decorations in seafood restaurants! My wife might let it go for one-seventy-five . . . Ginny! Customer out here! She needs to talk to you!"

"May I help you?" A tall woman, with reddish-brown hair appeared out of the back room. "I'm sorry to keep you waiting, but you know how it is! Work for yourself, and the work never stops!"

"I know what you mean!" laughed Carolyn, thinking of how many late nights she had spent in front of her typewriter. "I want to know about this chart-rack. Your husband Andrew says you have had it for a while and it hasn't sold yet . . . What would you be willing to take for it?"

"Well, I could go as low as one-seventy, but not much less than that . . ."

"Please . . . I don't have that much . . . Is there any way you would consider any less?"

Virginia smiled. "Look, I like you, but you sound sort of desperate! What is the emergency about a chart rack of all things?" she asked, slightly bewildered.

"The . . . person . . . the man I want it for . . . he . . . collects things like this. It's his birthday. He'd be thrilled to get it, but I just don't have that much! Would you consider a payment arrangement? I don't carry credit cards . . ." said Carolyn desperately.

"Well," said Ginny, with another smile "Lets talk. Do you live near here? Maybe you can come work in my shop . . . or something like that. I'm willing to barter with you, but I don't even know your name yet!"

Carolyn blushed. "I'm sorry! No, I don't live near here. I live in Schooner Bay. I'm a writer. My name is Carolyn Muir — "

"Not THE Carolyn Muir!" Ginny gasped. "Not the one who wrote _Maiden Voyage!?_ I'm so thrilled to meet you!"

"That's me!" Carolyn blushed again "Actually, that's US . . . I had some help with that story!"

"But I've read everything you've written!" said Ginny, delighted. "I have _Memoirs of a Sea Captain_back here in my office. Won't you please autograph it for me?"

"I'd be happy to, but about the chart rack . . . you see, the person it's for, it's for the same man . . . the one who helped me write _Maiden Voyage_. It's his birthday on the eighth, and I really must get this for him . . ."

"I have an idea . . . " Cut in Andrew, who had been listening the entire time. He turned to his wife. "Darling, you have been moaning about not having time to write the advertising for the shop you need to for the newspaper and radio because you are so busy here. Why don't you work out a deal with Carolyn and have her do it? Maybe that way I'll get to see you at home once in a while!"

Both women looked at him with delight. "That's perfect!" they chorused together.

"Just one more thing . . ." said Ginny.

"Yes?" said Carolyn, warily.

"I only live a few minutes away. I told you I have everything you've ever written. I have it all in a scrapbook . . . along with your book of course. Let me go home and get my scrapbook and find the Memoirs so you can autograph them for me?"

Carolyn gave her another hug. "For what you are about to do for me, I'll put you and Andrew in a story some day!"

"Deal!" said Ginny, as she headed for the door.

Twenty minutes later, the chart rack had been carefully wrapped in a burlap cover and loaded in the station wagon. Carolyn and Virginia had worked out a lady's agreement covering the terms and such for her writing the advertising for the store, and had exchanged telephone numbers. It wasn't until she was half way back to Schooner Bay that Carolyn realized . . . She couldn't take the chart rack home! One might be able to smuggle wrapping paper, or even a model ship into the house, but not this!

"Blast again!" said Carolyn. "I have to go see Claymore! He can store it at his office . . . and bring it up in the eighth in Ed's truck. Guess who is coming to a birthday party after all! And I still have one more article to finish today!" She headed toward her landlord's office, but her heart was light.


	16. ABHF15

**15-REVSUE**

"You want me to what? Mrs. Muir, are you out of your mind? What if he comes in here? You know he torments me all too often! What will I say if he sees it?"

Carolyn looked around the crowded, messy room. "You could cover it with papers and he'd never see it," she suggested.

"No. No, I don't think so. Nothing would be enough to . . . "

"Claymore . . ." she added, desperately, "If you did it for me as a favor, I might find it possible to, well, to put a little dedication or something to you in my next book."

"Oh! Oh, now you're talking, Mrs. Muir!" suddenly the man was all smiles.

"And, of course, you're more than welcome to come to the birthday party."

"Didn't we do that last November?"

"That was his death day, remember?"

"Oh, right." Claymore frowned. "Do you think I'd have to get him a present, then?"

"Tell you what, Claymore. You come and bring this along in Ed's truck and I'll personally tell the Captain that it was all due to your agreement to store it and drive it up that he got his chart rack back."

"Oh, Mrs. Muir, that's a wonderful idea. He will be pleased, won't he? And I won't have to spend a penny! Not that I mind, of course, but, well, you know . . . "

"Yes, I do. Look, there's Ed now . . . Can we get him to help us move this in here now? I'm in a bit of a hurry."

"Very well, Mrs. Muir."

"Thank-you, Claymore."

"I should think so," he grumbled.

As Carolyn headed out the door again after moving the chart rack out of the car, she smiled sweetly at Claymore. "We'll eat at six that night."

"I don't know if I can eat there. I lose my appetite, not to mention my . . . well . . . "

"You invitin' me, too, Ms. Muir?" Ed smiled. "Martha makes a mean cherry pie!"

"I . . . well . . . actually, Ed, it's a birthday party for . . . well, for Jonathan's imaginary friend." Carolyn stammered.

"That's fine. I'll even bring him a present. 'Bye now." And he was gone.

Carolyn and Claymore stared in dismay at one another.

"Blast!" Carolyn said at last.

"Maybe he'll change his mind, Mrs. Muir." Claymore said rather doubtfully.

"We shall see, I suppose," Carolyn muttered and she walked out.


	17. ABHF16

**16-HELENA RUSSELL**

Sunday afternoon, the kids were playing in their room. A strange feeling crept over Jonathan that Captain Gregg had gotten wind somehow that the whole family was preparing for still another birthday party on April eighth. Candy noticed that her brother was lost in his own thoughts.

"What's the matter, Jonathan? Tell me, what's bothering you so? You haven't said a word in a half hour."

Jonathan jumped. "Oh Candy, there really is something that is bothering me."

"What is it?" Candy wanted to know.

"I'll tell you. This morning I talked with the Captain. He mentioned something of a surprise. I had the strange feeling he was talking about his birthday."

"Jonathan! Oh no, that can't be. Please, no!" Candy was close to tears.

"Please, Candy! Lower your voice!" He tried to calm his sister down. "Maybe I have misunderstood him. Come on, we should find out if Captain Gregg really suspects what we have planned."

"All right Jonathan, let's find out. I believe the Captain is in the attic. I think I heard him there earlier." Candy said.

Both made their way upstairs to the attic. Candy was right . . . Daniel was there.

"What brings you up to my attic, kids?" He had the feeling that something was bothering them both.

"I wonder, Captain, what did you mean when you said to me that you had a surprise for us?" asked Jonathan.

_Oh, that is what is__ bothering him! _the Captain thought. _Why would Jonathan want to know what kind of surprise I have talked about? Something is going on here. I must find out._

"Oh that, lad . . ." he said, trying not to sound curious. "Come in. Make yourselves comfortable, and I will tell you." The Captain began: "I was a young lad when I went to sea. My first day on board ship, the jokes began. We were four newcomers, and the Captain of the ship asked us if we could swim. We four wanted to know exactly why he wanted to know that. I told him that I couldn't swim, which of course was a lie."

Candy interrupted. "Captain, that's terrible! Why did you do that? Mom always tells us we shouldn't lie and we're punished for it when we do."

Daniel grinned. "Of course, you're right Candy, but this lie was necessary. You see, this Captain was a know-it-all. May I continue now?"

"Of course, Captain." Jonathan nodded. "What happened next?"

"The Captain asked me to jump overboard, he wanted to check my details. I noticed his determined expression and knew that he would personally, if necessary, throw me overboard. So I jumped and landed in the water. I pretended that I drowned and the sea had become my grave. But that wasn't the case. I dived. I swam under the keel of the ship and appeared on the other side again at the water's surface. At first, my Captain was terribly frightened that I perhaps had lost my life and it was his fault. But then he heard the laughter of his crew and he suddenly knew that I was surfacing on the other side of the ship."

"What happened then, Captain?" Candy wanted again to know. "Was your Captain very angry about your joke? Did he have you punished?"

"When I was back on deck, he made a face, but then he began to laugh also. He was pleased with my joke; nobody had ever played such a trick on him. And since that time, I never again was asked whether or not I could swim."

To make it easier that the Captain suspected nothing of the upcoming birthday celebration planned for him, Candy and Jonathan started laughing with Captain Gregg.


	18. ABHF17

**17–Finale**

**MELCHY AND TABITHA12**

April eighth dawned bright and clear with a warm breeze blowing up from the bay. Carolyn, who at eight o'clock had already been up three hours and had actually seen the dawn, answered her children's hesitant knock with a happy "Come in." She had wanted to finish her article and get it out of the way since she planned to take the day off.

They had all agreed at a clandestine meeting at Norrie's the night before that Martha, Claymore and the kids would prepare for the party while Carolyn would keep the Captain busy. She smiled at the thought of the many long walks the two of them had enjoyed that week. Ed was supposed to bring the chart rack up later in the day. She felt a little uneasy about Ed being involved. It wasn't fair to him, or to Captain Gregg, she thought. But what else could they do? It wasn't right to use his truck to haul it in and not ask him to come to the party.

"Good morning Mom!" Candy and Jonathan greeted her, each laying a kiss on her cheek.

"Are you ready for this evening?" she whispered in a conspiring tone. They had gotten this far without the Captain finding out and she didn't want to blow it now. He had even managed not to discover their secret when he had surprised Carolyn in the station wagon earlier that week.

"I think so." Candy looked a little doubtful. "As long as Jonathan doesn't forget the words." She rolled her eyes in her best older sister fashion.

"Me?" Jonathan was indignant. "You're the one that keeps giggling in the middle," he said a little too loudly.

"Jonathan." Carolyn put a finger to her lips.

"Sorry, Mom," he said much lower. "But she does!"

"Well, I'm sure you'll both do fine. Remember it's for the Captain."

"When are you going to give him the chart rack, Mom?" Candy asked so low, her mother had to lean in to hear her.

"After dinner, and the cake. I think we will have the song, and Martha says she's made him something, and I'm sure Claymore will bring at least a little something. And then right at the end, we will show him the chart rack. I've arranged for a bow to be tied around the top, with a card."

"I can't wait." Candy squealed. "He is going to be so surprised!"

"Well, why don't you both get ready for breakfast?" Carolyn reminded them. "I think Martha said she was going to make waffles."

"Yum!" They both ran from the room, calling 'DIBS' on the bathroom.

Carolyn found Martha at the stove, making waffles on an ancient waffle iron. Captain Gregg was already at the table, a stack of the hot steaming breakfast food in front of him. He was covering them with syrup when Carolyn walked in and he flashed her a smile. "I haven't had waffles since I was a lad," he beamed. "This is such a treat Martha!"

"Well, I thought you might get what you want for breakfast once in a while. Especially on your birthday."

"I'd almost forgotten it was my birthday." He wiped a drop of syrup that was tottering on his lips. "What with just finding out recently when it was, and then the early party and all. Birthday waffles!" Carolyn couldn't help but think he looked very much like an eager little boy.

"Would you like a couple, Mrs. Muir?" Martha held up a plate.

"Maybe a couple." Carolyn nodded, her stomach actually growling at the sight of the golden treat. "After all, it is the Captain's birthday." She took her plate from Martha and sat down beside the seaman, who passed her the butter and syrup without her asking. "Thank-you," she smiled.

Jonathan and Candy burst upon the scene and Martha gave them both huge stacks of the treat.

"What are you two planning to do today?" The Captain asked them. "This is your last day of your holiday, is it not?"

"Yes," they both groaned. "We have to go back to school on Monday." Candy frowned. "This was the shortest week in history."

"Vacation weeks are always short, darling." Carolyn said with a smile and a look of regret. "But if we waste the last day thinking about how it's almost over we won't enjoy the last day!"

"Right," Candy agreed.

"Who's worried?" Jonathan asked helping himself to another waffle.

Carolyn tried to hide a smile, as she turned in her chair to face the Captain. "I thought that maybe in honor of the day I would not work and that perhaps you could show me the house where you were born? I've wanted to see it ever since you told us about it."

He looked thoughtful, rubbing his hands together, almost wistfully. "If you would like that, I would be more than happy to be your tour guide."

"I'd like that very much," she assured him with a smile that was made only for him.

"Well, then you two get out of my way." Martha bristled. "You may be taking the day off and these two might have the last day of vacation, but the housekeeper's work is never done. So off with you all!"

gammgammgammgammgamm

Jonathan waited on the front porch until he saw his mother and the Captain disappear down the road toward the beach and then ran into the house. "They're gone Martha, let's get hoppin!"

The three of them managed to get the front room decorated with the crepe paper and balloons that Carolyn had kept in the car. Martha had made a paper cutout of ships that they hung over the front of the piano and Candy put out her little pastel pom-poms that put a splash of color in each corner.

Around noon, the phone rang, startling them a bit. "That better be Claymore explaining why he's late in helping," Martha grumbled. But when she came back into the room she had a worried look on her face. "That was Mr. Peavey. He's sick with the flu and won't be able to come tonight."

"How are we going to get the chart rack here?" Jonathan asked in despair.

"Claymore will have to bring it," Martha said in her 'that settles it' voice. "I'll call Claymore and tell him that the plans have changed and then I'll call Ed and tell him he has to let Claymore borrow his truck. And that will be the end of that. Now, lets see what else we need to do."

gammgammgammgammgamm

The sun was setting over the horizon when Carolyn and her Captain came up the flagstone walk. If they could have seen themselves the way Martha did, they probably wouldn't have believed it. Both of them seemed to be actually glowing.

"Good evening Mrs. Muir, Captain." The older woman came out on the porch. She was wearing a new dress, Carolyn noticed, along with the apron the Captain had given her for Christmas. "I hope you had an enjoyable day."

"We had a wonderful day," Carolyn said, giving the housekeeper a questioning look, who returned it with a reassuring nod. "Dinner is almost ready, why don't you come in?"

The house smelled of pot roast, something that wasn't offered often in the Muir household and Captain Gregg was sure his mouth was watering. How many years had it been since he had had a good slice of beef?

"Go on into the kitchen and settle yourselves at the table, I'll be in, in a minute."

The table was set with the best china and silverware and everyone had a wine goblet, although the children's were filled with milk. The Captain was so overcome by the entire scene he didn't even insult Claymore who sat at the end of the table looking nervous.

"Sit here." Carolyn pulled out the chair at the head of the table. "Tonight you are the guest of honor, Captain."

"Me?" he asked, looking actually humble for once.

"It is your birthday, Captain."

"But I thought we had already celebrated my birthday . . . early?"

"April Fool! " Candy and Jonathan shouted together. "We gave you that party so you wouldn't suspect this party." Jonathan looked proud of himself.

"You certainly did surprise me!" The seaman sat down, looking over at the children with affection in his eyes. "I don't know how to thank you. All of you." And he gave Carolyn a smile that made her heart speed up. "And I'm certain they could not have pulled this off without your help, Martha," he addressed the housekeeper as she came into the kitchen, a bottle of wine in her hands. She beamed at the Captain's praise and told everyone to get started on the food before it got cold.

gammgammgammgammgamm

After dinner, the kids came up to Captain Gregg, and each taking an arm, helped him get out of his chair. "Come on, Captain, we have something special to show you," they urged.

"Another surprise?" he asked, clearly delighted.

"Yes – come on, we have something we want to . . . well, give you sort of."

The Captain looked around at the decorations and balloons and then he noticed the huge sign hanging in the window that said in huge green letters WE LOVE YOU, CAPTAIN GREGG! And for the first time in ages he was sure he felt the stinging of tears in his eyes. Could it be possible?

"I'm not sure what to say." He looked at everyone in turn, even giving Claymore a look that didn't say 'I want to kill you.' "I don't think I've ever had such a birthday!"

"Sit down." Jonathan pushed on the Captain's back in the direction of the couch. "Candy and I want to show you our present."

After making sure he was seated comfortably, the children stood by beside the piano and giving Martha a nod, she began to play. Carefully they listened for the refrain and then began to sing:

**_A capital ship for an ocean trip, Was the Walloping Window-__blind!_**

_**No gale that blew dismayed her crew or troubled the Captain's mind.**_

Laughter went around the room; the Captain gave Carolyn an inquiring look. She only smiled.

_**The man at the wheel was taught to feel contempt for the wildest blow,**_

_**Tho' it often appeared when the weather had cleared, that he'd been in his bunk below.**_

"Blasted landlubber he was," the Captain said, clearly enjoying the song.

**_The bo__'swain's mate was very sedate, yet fond of amusement, too;_**

_**He played hopscotch with the starboard watch, While the Captain tickled the crew!**_

"I wouldn't doubt it, " Claymore interjected, but was silenced from one look from his great-uncle.

_**And the gunner we had was apparently mad, for he sat on the after rail,**_

_**And fired salutes with the Captain's boots in the teeth of the booming gale!**_

_**The Captain sat in a commodore's hat and dined, in a royal way,**_

_**On toasted pigs and pickles and figs and gummery bread each day.**_

_**But the cook was Dutch, and behaved as such, for the diet he gave the crew**_

_**was a number of tons of hot cross buns chopped up with sugar and glue.**_

"So they knew my cook!" the Captain laughed.

_**All we felt ill as mariners will, on a diet that's cheap and rude.**_

_**And we shivered as shook as we dipped the cook in a tub of his gluesome food.**_

_**Then nautical pride we laid aside, and we cast the vessel ashore.**_

_**On the Gullibly Isles where the Pooh-Pooh smiles, and the Anagazanders roar!**_

Candy tried not to laugh when she stepped forward for her solo:

_**Composed of sand, was that favored land, and trimmed with cinnamon straws.**_

_**And pink and blue were the pleasing hue of the Tickletoeteaser's claws.**_

_**And we sat on the edge of a sandy ledge and shot at the whistling bee;**_

_**and the binnacle bats wore waterproof hats, and the danced in the sounding sea.**_

Everyone clapped, and then the two began to sing together again:

_**On rubagub bark, from dawn to dark, we fed till we all had grown,**_

_**Uncommonly shrunk, when a Chinese junk came up from the Torriby zone.**_

_**She was chubby and square; but we didn't much care, and we cheerily put to sea;**_

_**And we left the crew of the junk to chew on the bark of the rubagub tree!**_

The grownups clapped for the kids, Claymore calling out for an encore, Candy and Jonathan beaming. Jonathan went over to the piano and gave Martha a hug and everyone clapped for her.

That was called _"Capital Ship" _by Charles Edward Carryl," Candy told them.

"It was wonderful, children." The Captain said with great affection. "I couldn't ask for a better gift."

"Well, why don't we try a bit of the cake Martha made?" Carolyn walked over to the table, which no one had seemed to notice before. The cake was covered in chocolate icing with candy bits on top and when Captain Gregg took the first mouthful he thought if he could he would die right there. It was heavenly.

"It's called 'Better Than Sex Cake.'" Martha sidled up to the Captain. "I thought it might remind you of the things you still can enjoy . . . like chocolate."

". . . And cake." He said matter-of-factly. "This is divine. I'm not sure about the comparison though!" And he winked.

After indulging in cake and ice cream, Claymore gave his ancestor a book "with many blessings." Much to the Captain's delight, it was actually a book he liked — a book of great heroes of the Mexican War and even more, to his delight, he spotted his name in the index.

"Could anything be more pleasant?" He asked them all. "I can't image a better evening!"

"Come on, Mom! Time for the big present . . . right?" said Jonathan, practically hopping up and down. "Lets go!"

"Yeah . . . Come on, Mom!" said Candy, putting in her two cents, "I can't stand waiting much longer!"

"Heave to, kids!" said Martha, with a big smile on her face, "I haven't given my present to the ogr . . . Captain yet!"

"Why Martha . . ." Captain Gregg turned to her with a surprised look on his face. "I do think you've already contributed a great deal toward making my birthday party a happy one!" He counted on his fingers. "You cooked the dinner, made the cake, played the piano for the children . . . There was no need . . ."

"You know Captain . . ." said Martha. "Sometimes you can be a big pain in the aft!" She put her hands on her hips. "Here I am, trying to do something nice . . ."

The Captain held up his hands in mock surrender. "All right . . . fine, whatever pleases you!" He grinned at her. "Well? What is it? My favorite chocolate chip cookies?"

Martha handed him a small squishy package. "Happy Birthday Captain! Wear them in good health!"

Captain Gregg opened the gaily-wrapped package. He stared at the contents and frowned.

"My good woman!" He held them up for all to see. "Pray, tell me . . . what on earth . . ."

"They're slippers, Captain!" said Martha with a chuckle. "My very own, specially-designed one-of-a-kind handmade knitted slippers! They're the same kind I have been knitting for the seamen's home for the last year! The same kind I make for Candy and Jonathan every year for Christmas!" she continued, with a grin on her face.

"I've watched you knit before Martha!" said Captain Gregg, trying to suppress a grin of his own. ". . . But never, NEVER have I seen you make anything — including slippers, using royal blue, red, purple, gray, lavender and forest green yarn! In stripes yet!"

Candy and Jonathan burst out in peals of laughter, imagining Captain Gregg's striped-clad feet.

"Well . . ." said Martha; still grinning broadly, "I wanted to make sure yours were unique . . . impossible to mix up with anyone else's, and I had all the miscellaneous leftover yarn from all the pairs I made and sent to the seamen's home, so I figured I'd make one really dramatic pair for you, Captain! Besides, when you get to pacing around in your 'wheelhouse' at night, sometimes your footsteps are loud enough to wake the . . . well, you know!"

Captain Gregg's smile was wide, and he blew Martha a kiss. "Point well taken my good woman! So . . ." He sat down on the closest chair and started to remove his boots.

"No, wait Captain Gregg!" cried Jonathan and Candy together.

"Yes, wait . . ." said Claymore.

The Captain stopped what he was doing to glare at Claymore, and Carolyn cut in on what was sure to be the beginning of another row between them. "I think . . ." she paused. "That the children meant . . ."

"It's time for the really big present now, Captain!" said Candy.

"Yeah, but it was too big to sneak into the house!" added Jonathan.

"So I brought it up in Ed's truck," added Claymore. ". . . But we could really use some help getting it out of Ed's truck! My back, you know!" In a totally sincere voice Claymore added; "Happy Birthday, Uncle Daniel! I hope to be around for many more of them!"

Daniel Gregg gave his nephew a look of acceptance and tolerance, and then looked at Carolyn.

"Madam, you had a hand in all this?"

"I did, Captain!" she said, her emerald eyes shining back at him. "Can we go outside now?"

"Come on, Captain Gregg!" shouted Jonathan. "Candy and me," he paused, and looked at his mother, "Candy and I have kept this a secret for a whole week! We can't take it, any more!"

Jonathan and Candy grabbed the Captain by his jacket sleeves. When they reached the front doorway of Gull Cottage, they instructed:

"Shut your eyes!" and together they lead him to the tailgate of Ed's truck.

"Now open your eyes!" they chorused.

Before him, Captain Gregg beheld a large object covered in burlap, and Carolyn offered him a pair of kitchen shears. "I'm afraid this is the only way to open this present . . . Daniel! Have at it! But be careful!"

Daniel Gregg started cutting away at the burlap and peeled it back.

"It's a chart rack . . ." he said slowly. "You found me another chart rack? . . . How very thoughtful of you all . . ."

"No, Daniel . . ." Carolyn said softly, a tear trickling down her cheek, "Not just a chart rack. YOUR chart rack. I found it in Keystone."

"Mine?" The Captain said disbelief, his voice cracking, "You found my chart rack?" He gently pushed aside the ribbon adorning the chart rack and polished the little gold plaque bearing his name, "Oh Madam . . . children . . . Martha . . ." He stared, but only for a moment, at Claymore, "How can I ever thank you?"

The Captain looked at Carolyn, and for a moment . . . a minuscule fragment of time, Carolyn could have sworn there was a tear on his cheek . . . but before she could make certain, he had vanished, followed in an instant by his chart rack. Carolyn, Martha, Claymore and the children found him a few moments later in the alcove, moving the chart rack back into a conveniently vacant (vacated by Martha, that is) section of the alcove. It looked as though it had never been removed . . . and the look of sheer joy on his face told them all what a happy birthday Daniel Gregg had truly had.

Slowly, the six walked back to the parlor. Martha stood by the piano. "Oh no!" she exclaimed, "We forgot something!"

"What?" they all chorused.

"The most important thing!" she exclaimed, and hit a chord.

_**Happy Birthday to You!**_

_**Happy Birthday to You!**_

_**Happy Birthday Dear Captain!**_

_**Happy Birthday to You!**_

Carolyn glanced over at Captain Gregg. There was no mistaking it. There were tears in the seaman's eyes . . .

**END**


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